At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
