Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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