i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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