i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
