found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
