do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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