How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
