Nicole vs. Life
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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