I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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