Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
