Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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