just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
