White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
