why im i the only drunk person in the library?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
