She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
