FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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