we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Is Oprah even human
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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