Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
being pregnant is like rehab
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
