Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
