You can't motorboat a personality
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
