Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
