What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
