Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
