all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
