I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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