Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
