Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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