Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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