I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
