I look better un-naked...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
