Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
