even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
