Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
