I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
