I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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