I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
