I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
