Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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