i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
