I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
