I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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