summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
