Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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