For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
