Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
