other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
