yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
