actually, I'm a sock model
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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