Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
