Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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