best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
