you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
