She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
